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INSPIRATIONS FROM INMATES (continued)

“It is a paradox to me that by sitting and accepting who I am, I also subtly begin to transform. I’m less self-centered. I can think more clearly, I feel less stress, less irritation, less need to engage in addictive escapisms.  I don’t have to do this –  I want to.  I believe I can suffer less.  This will lead to my causing less suffering.  I give nothing up defoliating this onion.  It’s just happening, the way a flower doesn’t question whether it should blossom.”     (Z.R.) 

“I can’t completely express what your companionship and guidance during this difficult time in my life has meant or how wonderful the gift is that you have helped me discover within me.   You have helped me see I am o.k., worthwhile, and I can accept me.   I am much more free from the self-hate I’ve had all my life.  Thank you for helping me see I do have value, can change my thought process, and ultimately, save my life.  You have ... given me strength to go on in life –  a new hope in looking at things in a way my abused self could never have dreamed of.  You have been a lamp to dispel my life of darkness and hell.  (It’s a lot less dark anyway.”    (M.H.)         

“I look around at my fellow inmates – the immensity of the suffering is almost overwhelming.  There is so much HATE, so much intolerance, so much ignorance ... and all concentrated in such a small area within these walls. [At some point] in my sentence, I became aware that my happiness need not be conditional upon my release from prison.

“For sure, I am not ‘happy’ to be in prison.  I still get angry and impatient and frustrated ... but I don’t let those feelings linger, grow, and continually define my feelings and attitudes.  And  so I am ‘happy’ not to be a prisoner of my own emotions, to be free, for the first time in my life, from many of the negative habits and behaviors that seemed to control the first 50 years of my life.  I am so grateful to The Ratna Prison Initiative, and all those who have patiently taught and instructed me along the way.   I hope, upon my release, there will be some part I can play in helping others as I have been helped and guided.”     (M.P.)

“It is said by inmates that society (the justice system) took our freedom.  Well, we are limited somewhat here, but did we every truly enjoy our true freedom?   I’m looking for not an escape from life, but from the habitual patterns that have held me in suffering.”     (Z.R.)

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